Notes on My Grandmother's House by Kamala Das

The poem My Grandmother's House has taken many, many classes, with varying levels of productivity, to complete.

To begin with, there was a brief discussion about the poet herself - her life, background, style etc.
In the next class, to "set the mood," we shared our memories of our grandparents, and the lessons we've learnt from them.
In the last class, owing to the fact that not everyone had their textbooks, Sir briefly discussed (again) the poet, and the poem. There was a depressing reading-out in class, as well.

Now for the notes.

• free verse
• house changed by death of grandmother:

"The house withdrew into silence, snakes moved

among books"

"blind eyes of windows" = nobody inside?

"frozen air"

"Darkness"

• Author changed by death of grandmother:

"my blood turned cold like the moon"

• Otherwise change in author:

"once/ I received love"

"was proud, and loved"

"... I who have lost/ my way"

"beg now at strangers' doors to/ receive love, at least in small change"

• poetic devices:

"armful of darkness" => "brooding dog"

Imagery

Segmentation

• Author's present state:

wild despair

brooding, remorseful

picking at scabs

lonely

And now the very first class notes:

• Kamala Das: candid, bold, vivid, melancholy, rebellious

Today's class notes:

• poem: confessional, autobiographical
• poet: loved life, but didn't receive any in return
• nostalgic poem
• links - or rather contrasts - past and present
• house - symbol of love, now in ruins
• "love....... That woman died"

intensity of grief; frustration at loss of grandma, loss of love

• "cold like the moon" = desolate, quiet, lifeless, lonely - no more warmth (love)
• "how often - think of going / There" aware of distance, unrealisticness (is that a word?) - only in memory and/or imagination
• "peer through blind eyes of windows" - transferred epithet, oxymoron
• extensive personification
• doesn't mind bringing back the "darkness" or grief, if only to remind her of grandmother's love
• "I who have lost my way" - blames herself?
• desperate for love - "beg now at strangers' doors to Receive love, at least in small change?"
• "small change" - physical love, as in the affair she mentions in another poem, where she seeks another man's company
• "?" rhetoric question - knows it is impossible to imagine that she was proud and loved, but asks anyway
• perhaps "darling" is ironic, as a term of endearment for a loved one, or sarcastic, in referring to her husband - snapping at him, as if to say, "you were supposed to be the one to shower me with love, darling, but see how i feel?"
• poet is disillusioned about the meaninglessness of her life (without love?) she is accustomed to the lack thereof, but needs it still, therefore "small change"
• "blind eyes" - no one inside
• doesn't even love herself anymore
• twist in the end of poem when she writes "darling":

first describes grief of present life, you sympathize, then asks if you can believe that there was love and pride in her life

Exam prep notes: (this is the best quality I could manage)