The Professor by Nissim Ezekiel
Not a conversation but a rambling monologue
Poet mocking "Indian English" by using it - satire
Irony is that a professor speaks it
As given by Prof. Felix, NOTE:
The Professor by Nissim Ezekiel is a satirical poem in the form of a monologue. The poet uses (in order to mock) Indianisms in English and adapts English language to adopt native language structure. A Professor, as the one who teaches, should be in proper command of the medium he uses; therefore the poem is ironical.
Explanation:
Remember me? I am Professor Sheth.
Shouldn't the student be approaching the teacher, saying "Good evening, sir, I'm so-and-so from your geography class, batch of '79.."
Once I taught you geography. Now
The horror begins here. "Once I taught you geography"??? This man has obviously never met a Grammar Nazi.
I am retired, though my health is good. My wife died some years back.
It's like he's assuming that the student assumes that he has retired because of poor health. A common Indian misconception.
By God's grace, all my children
Are well settled in life.
One is Sales Manager,
One is Bank Manager,
Both have cars.
Epitome of success: possession of a car. Only in India.
Other also doing well, though not so well.
Air hostess voice: Would you like a preposition, sir? An article? No?
<eye twitches>
Every family must have black sheep.
That's a little harsh - there are non-monetary aspects of success.
Sarala and Tarala are married,
Another common Indianism - rhyming names.
Their husbands are very nice boys.
And of course it's the husbands that matter more.
You won't believe but I have eleven grandchildren.
I have a wealth of progeny and am showing it off.
How many issues you have? Three?
Issues here means children. As used in old English books.
That is good. These are days of family planning.
Stopped at three - family planning. No wealth of children there. Professor feels validated at being wealthier than his student.
I am not against. We have to change with the times.
Whole world is changing. In India also
We are keeping up. Our progress is progressing
Old values are going, new values are coming.
Going where? :P Anyhoo, times are changing and so are the value systems.
Everything is happening with leaps and bounds.
Can I please ridicule him now? He's talking like a child - trying to use all these fancy terms he's picked up from the streets but he doesn't know how to, so it sounds like this ^
I am going out rarely, now and then
Only, this is price of old age
"now and then Only" he said. Direct transfer of Indian grammar to English.
And then he says "price of old age".
But my health is O.K. Usual aches and pains
No diabetes, no blood pressure, no heart attack.
This is because of sound habits in youth.
The poor student doesn't care! Why are you telling him about your "sound habits"?
How is your health keeping?
Nicely? I am happy for that.
Stop. Please. Go wash your brain with detergent and then come back with a less polluted understanding of the English language.
This year I am sixty-nine
and hope to score a century.
Cricket reference; only in India. Life is a cricket match, it seems.
You were so thin, like stick,
Now you are a man of weight and consequence.
Indian twisted pride in being fat - it is a man's honor. Whatever.
That is a good joke.
Crack a joke and murder it by saying things like "I'm so funny"
If you are coming again this side by chance,
Visit my humble residence also.
"humble residence"? You could just say home, you know. At least the listener will be less creeped out.
I am living just on opposite house's backside.
At this point the reader must keep the book down and burst into tears as her faith in humanity dies.
And the listener must walk away slowly and not laugh.
Observations:
Getting serious, now - this poem, although hilarious and ironic, is also depressing. The issue of quality of education is subtly raised here - what a sad system it is, where a teacher - a professor - can't speak grammatically correct English, and sadder yet, because young impressionable minds are subjected to his ineptitude at his own medium of instruction.
Upon further contemplation and discussion, a few more points come to attention:
Poet mocking "Indian English" by using it - satire
Irony is that a professor speaks it
As given by Prof. Felix, NOTE:
The Professor by Nissim Ezekiel is a satirical poem in the form of a monologue. The poet uses (in order to mock) Indianisms in English and adapts English language to adopt native language structure. A Professor, as the one who teaches, should be in proper command of the medium he uses; therefore the poem is ironical.
Explanation:
Remember me? I am Professor Sheth.
Shouldn't the student be approaching the teacher, saying "Good evening, sir, I'm so-and-so from your geography class, batch of '79.."
Once I taught you geography. Now
The horror begins here. "Once I taught you geography"??? This man has obviously never met a Grammar Nazi.
I am retired, though my health is good. My wife died some years back.
It's like he's assuming that the student assumes that he has retired because of poor health. A common Indian misconception.
By God's grace, all my children
Are well settled in life.
One is Sales Manager,
One is Bank Manager,
Both have cars.
Epitome of success: possession of a car. Only in India.
Other also doing well, though not so well.
Air hostess voice: Would you like a preposition, sir? An article? No?
<eye twitches>
Every family must have black sheep.
That's a little harsh - there are non-monetary aspects of success.
Sarala and Tarala are married,
Another common Indianism - rhyming names.
Their husbands are very nice boys.
And of course it's the husbands that matter more.
You won't believe but I have eleven grandchildren.
I have a wealth of progeny and am showing it off.
How many issues you have? Three?
Issues here means children. As used in old English books.
That is good. These are days of family planning.
Stopped at three - family planning. No wealth of children there. Professor feels validated at being wealthier than his student.
I am not against. We have to change with the times.
Whole world is changing. In India also
We are keeping up. Our progress is progressing
Old values are going, new values are coming.
Going where? :P Anyhoo, times are changing and so are the value systems.
Everything is happening with leaps and bounds.
Can I please ridicule him now? He's talking like a child - trying to use all these fancy terms he's picked up from the streets but he doesn't know how to, so it sounds like this ^
I am going out rarely, now and then
Only, this is price of old age
"now and then Only" he said. Direct transfer of Indian grammar to English.
And then he says "price of old age".
But my health is O.K. Usual aches and pains
No diabetes, no blood pressure, no heart attack.
This is because of sound habits in youth.
The poor student doesn't care! Why are you telling him about your "sound habits"?
How is your health keeping?
Nicely? I am happy for that.
Stop. Please. Go wash your brain with detergent and then come back with a less polluted understanding of the English language.
This year I am sixty-nine
and hope to score a century.
Cricket reference; only in India. Life is a cricket match, it seems.
You were so thin, like stick,
Now you are a man of weight and consequence.
Indian twisted pride in being fat - it is a man's honor. Whatever.
That is a good joke.
Crack a joke and murder it by saying things like "I'm so funny"
If you are coming again this side by chance,
Visit my humble residence also.
"humble residence"? You could just say home, you know. At least the listener will be less creeped out.
I am living just on opposite house's backside.
At this point the reader must keep the book down and burst into tears as her faith in humanity dies.
And the listener must walk away slowly and not laugh.
Getting serious, now - this poem, although hilarious and ironic, is also depressing. The issue of quality of education is subtly raised here - what a sad system it is, where a teacher - a professor - can't speak grammatically correct English, and sadder yet, because young impressionable minds are subjected to his ineptitude at his own medium of instruction.
Upon further contemplation and discussion, a few more points come to attention:
- satirizing Indian priorities in life
- listener cannot walk away because the speaker was his professor and therefore must be respected or at least humored
- jocular representation of a serious problem
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